Wario's Adventures Series
by Stuffwell359
Summary: Wario and sometimes Waluigi find themselves going on some crazy adventures. A collection of all my Wario's adventures stories, more coming soon! Also, a few of these are old, so I'll make sure to tell you if they are old or not. My writing style has changed drastically from when I first wrote these.
1. The Night of Terror -old-

**AN: Hey guys, welcome to my all new mini series. Wario's Adventures! Wario will be going on amazing and comical adventures, some of them willprobably be random. I really hope you guys enjoy this series and here we go!**

** -**The Night of Terror-

Wario laid awake in his bed, the moon beaming light into his room. He sat up and looked at his alarm clock. "12:00 PM, great, I can't sleep. Maybe some midnight treasure watching will ease my mind." Wario said, as he slowly stood up from his expensive bed and walked towards the door. In the hallway, he groggily steps past a few self portraits hanging on the wall and makes his way to the cellar. All of his treasures rest upon its cold hard ground, often sprawled about and untouched. Wario finally makes it to his living room, where he goes over to a specific wooden dresser(one of many scattered about the castle). He pushed the dresser to the side, leaving behind an opening. Dark creepy stairways enter Wario's eyesight. He was always afraid of the cellar after that incident with the giant green snake. "Is this really worth it? Maybe I should go look at my one hundred other treasures in my attic instead." Wario shrugged, he couldn't think clearly from lack of sleep. He lifted his dark green pointed shoe off the ground and landed it onto the grey cement stairs. Each footstep he took, he felt a massive fear creap up from behind him, but shook it off and kept descending into the nightmare before him. Now at the bottom of the stairs, he took a look around the cellar, made sure noone was following him and walked towards a black entrance. Wario felt drops of water fall down on his yellow hat, "I really should fix the plumbing in this stupid castle, but, that would mean Mario will be in _my_ castle fixing _my_ pipes in _my_ cellar!" Wario stomped ground with his foot, and quickly walked through the dark entrance. There wasn't much lighting in the small room, only the shine of gold coins and treasure lit the way. A sound went off in the distance, Wario heard this and turned his head towards the direction that it came from. "What was that?" He felt a chill down his spine, his heart beat raced against an imaginary opponent, who was obviously working a lot less than it was. His heart managed to win the race, and thankfully slowed down to a normal pace. All of a sudden, a purple bat flew at Wario. The fangs were as sharp as razors, the. fangs pierced Wario's neck. "Owww Aaahhh! Get off you little bird thing!" Wario moved his arm across his chest over to the bat sucking his delectable blood. His large fist smacked the bat's fangs out of his neck, with its body following suit. The bat fell to the floor, its wings twitched and cringed. "Why did it have to bite me?! Birds don't bite! Wait is that a-ohhh great, its a bat! A bat! I really wish it was a bird right now..." Wario sighed and walked towards his overwhelmingly huge pile of treasure. "Ok, where is it...Aha!" Wario pulled out a gold idol the size of his palm. "The golden clove of garlic...I remember getting this one...best treasure hunt. Ever." Wario held out it out to get a better look, "Its so wonderful...uggghh why does my neck hurt?" Wario dropped his prized treasure and gripped his wound. "Arrrrgh! The pain! What's going on?!" Wario shrieked in pain, his knees were on the ground now, both hands gripping his neck. Wario looked up to the ceiling, his eyes were bloodshot. They both closed for a moment and opened again, but his eyes were bright yellow now. The pupils became drenched with the color red. His white teeth started to grow out, two of them grew out really sharp. Wario grew fangs like that bat earlier. His skin slowly changed from a fresh apricot to a pale purple. Even his nose changed to a dark purple. Finally a black cape flapped from his back and slowly drifted downwards just above his feet. Wario regained his posture and lifted his cape across his body and mouth. "Time for some blood hunting. Wahahaha!" He laughed hysterically for what seemed like a whole transformed into a bat, and flew out of the cellar. After he was out of the cellar, his thirst for blood took over. "I...need...blood! I think there's a peaceful village nearby, yeah, it probably has loads of blood!" Wario whispered to himself and quickly darted to the front entrance of his castle. He threw the switch to let down the drawbridge and entered the outside world. The night felt peaceful and quiet, the stars were shining bright as always. The peacefulness of the night isn't going to last for long with Vampire Wario running amok. Wario peered into the distance, "There it is! The village…" He licked his lips, "Must have blood...now!" Wario shouted and transformed into a bat again, quietly heading towards the village. Now at the village, Vampire Wario took in the sights around him. Everyone still had their lights on, even though it was nearly 1:00 AM. Streetlamps were everywhere, they gave off a pale white light that showed the way across the village. There were houses everywhere and they were made out of dark brown wood. The one thing that Vampire Wario noticed that seemed out of place was the zombies moping around. There were dozens of them, walking back and forth. "Looks like I have to get through these guys first." He said, sneaking up against a wall right past a zombie. He climbed up a ladder and did the same thing; sneak up against a wall past the zombie. After that, there was yet another ladder. "Why are there so many ladders! I'm not cut out for blood hunting…." He said, now finished with climbing the stairs. Vampire Wario walked towards the very first house he saw, and walked in the front door. There was no door actually, just a yellow entrance to be exact. A woman was inside, doing her hair and make up. Vampire Wario crept up behind her, trying not to be in the reflection of her mirror. His fangs were out, ready to bite.

Finally his fangs made contact with her neck, she screamed. "Ahhhhhh!" She turned around and smacked him in the face. Vampire Wario stumbled back a little, but managed to hold his ground. She ran upstairs to the bathroom. Vampire Wario quickly followed. She slammed the door shut, but Vampire Wario grabbed the door knob and pulled the whole door off of its hinges.

She shrieked yet again, "Please don't hurt me anymore! Please!" She took a bucket of water on the bathroom floor from her cleaning it earlier and splashed the water all over Vampire Wario. The water made contact with Vampire Wario, he felt a stinging sensation all over his body, and then he looked into the mirror in the bathroom. He saw his original self again.

"I'm my old self again!" Wario flexed his large biceps with a grin on his face and quickly ran out of the home and out of the village. The woman stood there in the bathroom, unsure of what to do. Her neck started burn, the pain became unbearable. She writhed around, screaming in agony, until she stopped. Her eyes opened and were a pasty yellow, her pupils now red.

**Well that concludes the first Wario adventure for now, its now time to work on Mario and Luigi: Falling Leaves. See ya next time!**


	2. Cellar Seller -old-

**AN: Here we go guys, another mini adventure from my mini series :).**

Cellar Seller

A noise could be heard from deep down in the cellar, this noise was no other than Wario himself. Unfortunately, Wario was not alone, for there were more noise makers such as; bats, water drops, rats, and most of all, a giant green snake. This snake has been living in Wario's cellar for years. Why did it find comfort in Wario's cellar is still a mystery, but that's all in the past now. Wario was finally able to get rid of that snake a couple of months ago, so now he can sell his old damp cellar. "It's finally time to sell it, my stupid cellar that's given me nightmares for the past couple of months." He said as he walked out the front door to meet his customer. The customer waited outside impatiently, his skinny demeanor wavering in the light breeze. "Waluigi! How's my partner in crime doing?" Wario said to the tall man in purple.

Waluigi looked at him with a frown, "Just give me the cellar and let me be on my way..."

Wario's expression changed to something a little more less joyous, "Well, alright. That'll be 1 million gold coins."

Waluigi's mouthed dropped to the floor, "You have got to be kidding me... alright, I'll do it." Waluigi sighed and gave him the money. "I'll go get my stuff to move in!" He ran back home.

Wario stood there confused, "M-move...in? What have I done?" He stammered. Waluigi came back inside the castle moments later and started to renovate Wario's cellar to his liking. The whole cellar turned purple. Lavish, cushioned chairs were put near the side of the room. Right in front the dark black bar with a few shiny trophies on the shelf behind it. He also had a black stone fireplace to the north end of the room with a light purple television on the wall above it. The right of the room has Waluigi's purple bed and black dresser. The carpet was a mix of purple and black with a checkered pattern. Wario walked downstairs to his cellar through the secret entrance and looked at Waluigi's new home. "Hmph, not bad, I guessing having you live here won't be so bad afterall." Wario said, content with his crime partner living with him in his castle for now. "_At least he paid for the renovations_..." Wario thought while he checked out the new room. Waluigi loved the look of his new room, all the colors and decor fit his personality perfectly.

Waluigi walked up to Wario and slowly found the courage to speak up, "Hey, Wario, I just wanted to thank you for letting me stay in your cellar, it's really nice, and I also promise to not make much of a racket." Waluigi kept looking down at the purple carpet below, "Just to let you know, I do have tennis practice in the morning, so I'll be waking up pretty early. Is that ok?" Waluigi asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible. Wario slowly turned around and faced the much skinnier and taller person in front of him. He had to bend his neck way backwards in order to see him face to face.

"Just try not to wake me up...I get really crabby if someone wakes me up in the morning other than me." Wario warned, and walked up the stairs out of Waluigi's new room. "If you need anything, please, hesitate to ask." Wario warned yet again, his shoes pounded against the now purple carpeted stairs. With Wario gone, he had his whole room to himself. He quietly walked over to his black dresser near his bed. His hand slowly opened one of the drawers to find a dozen unlit bob-ombs. "Good thing Wario didn't inspect my carry on, hehehe…" Waluigi maniacally laughed under his breath so as to not cause any noise. He took one out of the drawer and closed it. He jumped on his bed and laid down. He took a small white rag and began to polish the bob-omb as if it were his own little baby. After his little baby was all polished and ready to go, he set it down next to his bed and yawned. Ready for bed at last, he pulled his comforters over his extremely skinny arms, and gently floated off into sleep. The next morning Wario woke himself up(Thank God Waluigi didn't) and prepared to make himself breakfast. He walked down the long corridors of his empt large castle and made it the kitchen. Waluigi was already down there with breakfast prepared on the table. "What is all this?" Wario asked, his eyes stunned to see breakfast put out before him.

Waluigi turned around from the stove, he wore a white cooking apron splattered with at least a dozen other ingredients. "Morning, garlic breath. Breakfast is on the table, I made garlic toast, and scrambled eggs." He said, his cheeks burning with a bright tone of red.

Wario chuckled nervously, "Hehe, well ummm thank you I guess." A blush escaped from his cheeks, he was obviously not used to having company or having someone being nice to him for a change. Wario sat down at the table, one look at the plate and his food was engulfed. In mere seconds, Wario finished off his breakfast. "There! I'm done! I'm heading down to the cellar, er, I mean your room." Wario said, he sounded awfully suspicious. Waluigi didn't seem to catch on and simply waved and watched him walk out of the kitchen. Wario reached Waluigi's room, he took another look around. He checked every compartment in the room, and finally saw the last thing he didn't check: the dresser. He opened the bottom drawer of the black dresser, only to find Waluigi's underpants. "Yuck! What am I doing?" Wario yelled aloud to himself and chucked the underwear back into the drawer. He skipped the next drawer and opened the top; there were the bob-ombs in the drawer. "Why does Waluigi have bob-ombs in his room? Maybe, he's planning something...I know! He's going to blow my castle! Well, we'll see who blows up my castle first! Wait, what?" Wario kept thinking aloud to himself, trying to come up with a plan to outsmart Waluigi. Wario came up with a good plan, he decided to snuff the plan out of Waluigi using his very own weapons of destruction. Wario took a bob-omb and headed up the stairs to find Waluigi. Wario found Waluigi, who started to clean up the mess Wario made on the kitchen table. Wario proceeded with his devious plan, he slowly took it out of his pocket. "Guess what I have in my hand?" He asked Waluigi with his hand hidden behind his overweight appearance. Waluigi stared at him for a moment and replied, "I don't know, what is it?"

Wario took out the bob-omb from behind his back, and held out a lighter in his other hand. "Wario, you don't know what you're doing..." Waluigi warned, he took a few steps back.

"Au contraire, I believe I do you scheming rat!" Wario lit the bob-omb, its fuse burned brightly and slowly whittled down.

Waluigi scrambled backwards, "N-no! Wario!" Waluigi reached his hand out to him, but it was too late. The fuse was no more, the bob-omb exploded. A white flash filled the kitchen, along with tons of smoke. Another thing came out of the explosion. Confetti. The bob-ombs were fakes! The smoke cleared and Wario's face was covered in black soot and confetti. "Hahaha! Wow! I can't believe I got you without even knowing it!" Waluigi laughed hysterically on the floor, his legs flapped up and down. Wario became so angry that his face turned a hot red and burned the soot off his face.

"I'm gonna get you Waluigi!" He shouted and ran after Waluigi. They both ran in circles around the kitchen table. Wario will probably never catch Waluigi, since they're running in circles around a kitchen table after all.


	3. Bob- Omb Breakout -old-

**AN: Well here we go guys, and remember, stealing is WRONG! Don't ever steal...or else stuffwell will chomp your face off :P just kidding...no but seriously, don't steal. **

Bob-omb Breakout

The moon illuminated Wario's castle, the light from the moon beamed through every window in the house, except in Waluigi's room. His room had no windows whatsoever, because his room used to be a cellar. Waluigi was up late at night, he just finished polishing his fake bob-ombs and decided to try and fall asleep. He laid in his bed, and waited for his mind to hopefully stop thinking about current events that happened yesterday. It technically was yesterday now, since it was now 1:00 AM. Waluigi tossed and turned, his body ached and he just wanted to fall asleep. "Ugh...I have to fall asleep!" He shouted and slammed his fists against the dark purple comforters. He pulled his comforters over his head and thought for a minute. "_Go to sleep, go to sleep stupid, you need your DAMN sleep…wait! Shoot! I need more bob-ombs! Ugh...I'll just have Wario get me some tomorrow. He doesn't do much anyway." _Waluigi felt content enough to try and fall asleep so he closed his eyes and tried to think of a peaceful place. Slowly, he found it and drifted off to sleep. Wario awoke to his door slamming open. "Wah! Who's there? What's going on? Don't take my money!" Wario jumped up from his bed and cocked his fist back, ready to punch the intruder that entered his bedroom. He looked around and saw someone, so he dashed towards him with all his might. The blow hit Waluigi hard, so hard that he flew through Wario's bedroom wall. Wario walked up to him and saw a purple cap on the floor, "Uhhhh….sorry Waluigi." Wario said apologetically.

Waluigi barely got up and patted off the dust on his black overalls. "Next time, look to see who the intruder is before you go and kill him!" Waluigi shouted.

"Well maybe you should knock first!" Wario spat back while he shook his fists in anger.

Waluigi froze and remembered why he came here in the first place. " Hey, Wario, could you go to the bob-omb shop and get me some more bob-ombs?" Waluigi asked with a "pretty please with a cherry on top" look on his face.

Wario's anger faded away, "Well I guess I could, but I don't know."

Waluigi frowned, "Oh come on!" He sighed, "What if I pay my mortgage early for you?"

Wario stood there for a moment and thought about it, "Ok, sounds good to me, when do I go?"

"Right now." Waluigi said, and shoved Wario out of his bedroom.

"Hey, hey , hey, watch it ok? I can get there myself." Wario protested. He walked the rest of the way out of his castle. He went to his garage and started his purple 1954 cadillac Eldorado. The car had it's top down and it even had Wario's insignia on the hood. Wario pressed his foot on the gas pedal and slammed right through his garage door. "Oops...oh well, I'll fix it later." He said as he drove off to the town nearby. Wario got to the town in no time, but there was one little problem. The town got attacked by monsters! "Wow, this looks like a town in chaos…everything has been demolished." Wario sadly stated as he slowly drove through the town. Wario looked for a good parking spot, but each one he thought looked good, ended up having a bunch of debri over it. He finally found one that looked good enough to park in. Surprisingly, this parking spot happened to be right next to the bob-omb shop. Wario stepped out of his car, and walked up to the front entrance of the shop. The shop looked like a supermarket. It had glass window panes on both sides, and the front door was an automatic sliding glass door. Wario waited for the door to open, then he walked inside. A bob-omb at the front desk greeted him with a smile, or tried to, since bob-ombs don't have mouths.

"Hello sir, how are you today?" He asked.

Wario walked up to the front desk, "Yeah, great, uhhh where are your finest bob-ombs?" Wario asked and leaned a little closer.

"Uhhh, sir, your breath kinda stinks. If you could lean back a little bit, that would be great. Thanks." He said, trying to be polite.

Wario leaned in closer, "Listen buddy, I don't care if my breath reeks like the garlic bread I had this morning. Give. Me. The Bob-ombs. Now!" Wario yelled into his ear.

A drop of sweat formed on his head and trickled downward, "Ok...they are in the third row in the back…" The bob-omb said quietly and moved back from the counter.

"Thanks." Wario replied and slowly made his way to the third row in the back of the store. "Let's see, bob-ombs...bob-ombs.. Ah ha! Wow, they have a lot!" Wario shouted, and began taking a bundle of bob-ombs in his arms, and anywhere else he could carry them. "Wait a minute, hang on, how much are these?" Wario slowly turned around and checked the price tag. "100$ per bob-omb?! That's ridiculous! Screw this, I'm just going to take them." Wario made up his mind. He then proceeded to walk out of the store, with his overalls and arms full of bob-ombs. The store clerk watched as Wario stumbled across the store with the bob-ombs. A few actually fell out of his arms and rolled around.

The store clerk yelled, "You'd better drop every single bob-omb you have or I'm calling the cops!" He warned. Wario broke out into a run, dozens of bob-ombs fell out of his arms. The ones that were in his overalls were still bouncing up and down as he ran out of the store. The store clerk called the police and in a split second, two cop cars came. The police stopped their cars and started to chase Wario on foot. Wario could hear their footsteps getting closer as he held his overalls up to keep the bob-ombs from falling out. In front of him, his car waited to be started so he could get away. "Ahhhhh! Almost there…" Wario said as he ran out of breath. He finally reached his car and started it, the police were almost at his vehicle. The engine purred, and Wario backed his car up into reverse and hit a black trash can. He then put it in drive and drove right after the police. The police dove out of the way and Wario's car rammed into the police cars. Wario quickly plowed through them and got away. He then traveled to his beloved castle. Wario parked his car into the garage, then he carefully got out and took the bob-ombs with him.

Waluigi was standing right by the garage door. "Did you get them?!" He asked excitedly. Wario took the straps off of his overalls and all the bob-ombs fell out and rolled all over the floor.

"Yup, I got the bob-ombs you asked for." Wario said with a smile.

"Let's set off a celebratory bob-omb!" Waluigi exclaimed.

"But, aren't these real bob-ombs?" Wario asked, his hands trembled at the thought of it.

"No, of course not, I think the shop only sells fake ones. Maybe they have real ones too. I'm not sure..." Waluigi stated.

"Alright, let's do it!" Wario took one of the bob-ombs and lit it. "Here we go...3….2….1.." Wario watched as the bob-omb blew up, confetti flew everywhere. "Wow...it really was a dud, I thought I stole real ones." Wario chuckled.

"Me too, I thought you would screw it up…" Waluigi added. "Do you smell something?"

"Yeah, it smells like something burning...Oh shi-" Wario couldn't even finish his sentence because the other bob-ombs went off from the dud going off. It seems that Wario picked one dud and the rest were real ones!

**AN: Lol! That cracks me up every time I read it! I hope you guys read this and laughed as much as I did. See ya next time!**


	4. Airship Raid -old-

**AN: I hope everyone enjoys this and please R&R.**

Airship Raid

"Why does that airship have to be so far away.." Wario whined, almost out of breath. He decided to run after an airship that supposedly had a ton of loot on board. The airship flew over the pool of rain and now Wario was stuck on the other side. Wario had to think fast, "Airships are slow, so if I got my red biplane, I could catch up and get the loot! Wahaha!" He laughed maniacally and rushed to his car that he used to chase down the airship. Now back at his still broken garage with his still broken car from bob-omb breakout, Wario donned pilots goggles and stepped into his biplane. His red biplane had to get fixed years ago when he stumbled upon a cave when he crashed it. Now that its all fixed up and ready to use, Wario was prepared to get the loot no matter what. Wario started up the engine and the blades in the front spun like mad. Wario actually remembered to open the garage door before he headed out so now he will be able to fly out safely. The biplane gathered speed and took off toward the pool of rain. Wario could see the airship in sight, he prepared to hopefully land on the ship. Closer and closer, the airship could literally touch the blades in the front of his biplane. "Ok! Time to land!" Wario shouted and veered his biplane to the right and sped up. He is now near the side of the airship, unfortunately the enemies on board noticed his bright red biplane.

"Get the bullet bill cannons ready!" One enemy yelled.

"Ok, ready, aim, fire!" Another enemy yelled and aimed the cannons at Wario. The cannons fired three bullet bills at Wario's biplane. Wario's hands wiped across the steering wheel, which made his biplane go straight towards the airship.

"Waha!" Wario shouted as he jumped off his biplane and onto enemy territory. He watched as his beloved biplane fell to the pool of rain below. Wario's eyes glided downward to the pool where his biplane landed,"Oh well, I'll fix it later." He said indifferently. Wario's attention reverted back to the enemies on board. There were three: armed with hammers. "Would'ya look at that. A welcome party just me. Too bad its not my birthday!" Wario yelled at the hammer bros.

"Sick 'em boys!" One hammer bro exclaimed as they threw their hammers in unison. Wario stood still and stepped to the right and left to dodge the first two hammers that flew at him. Then he managed to grab the third one. Wario rushed at the hammer bros, he swung wildly and all the hammer bros shooted towards the sky. They all made a quick yelp and plummeted into the ocean.

"Well, that takes care of them..." Wario said with a grin on his face. He twirled the hammer around in his fingers, then threw it off the airship. "Now if I were the head of an airship, where would I hide? Haha! Of course! Below deck!" Wario shouted and dashed to the door that leads below deck. A rickety set of stairs stood in his path, but he just jumped the whole flight of stairs and made a loud crashing noise. Surprisingly the guards didn't hear him. He peaked around a corridor where the hammer bro's cabins were. Two guards were pacing back and forth. Wario tip toed behind one while its back was turned as dashed into it. Shortly after that, Wario picked him up and threw him at the other guard. "Have a rotten day!" He yelled as he threw the guard into the other guard. There heads collided and both exploded into coins. He picked the coins up off the ground, "Three gold coins each? Come on I should have gotten five for overkill..." He complained as he dropped the gold coins into his purple overalls pocket. Wario could see the captain's quarters at the end of the hall. "Time to make my big entrance." Wario said, and quickly dashed into the door. The door was no match for the burly strength of Wario's head. The captain stood behind his desk with his wooden high chair facing away from Wario.

"Bravo, Wario. You passed all the guards...I'm impressed." His tone was eerie, with a hint of sarcasm. "How does ten thousand gold coins sound?" He asked, and slowly turned his chair around. Wario was surprised to see who this captain turned out to be. He looked just like an other hammer bro, but had a scar on his left eye and a black eye patch on his right. Beside his desk was the biggest and longest hammer Wario had ever seen. He stood up. He wore a dark black overcoat. Black boots covered his pale grey skin. He had very large white fangs and his black helmet had two very large pertruding white spikes on both sides. They stuck up to the ceiling above, sharp as razors.

Wario, shocked and slightly frightened, tried his best to keep his cool. "That's quite the clothing you have on Captain Hammerfang." Wario knew this guy before, he had seen him on the news awhile back. Apparently, Captain Hammerfang lead a group of rebel Hammer bros into robbing the Diamond City Bank. "I've seen your handy work, you're quite the theif." Wario complimented.

"I don't need people telling me I'm good at what I do, because I already know." A smirked formed on dark complexion, "I'll Tell ya what, kid. You've made it this far. I can't let you go empty handed. So let's say I just give you the money?" Hammerfang offered with a grin. Wario saw through his little charade.

"Listen I'd love to, but I have enough money." Wario reluctantly stated. It hurt his guts to say that, but he knew it was for his own good.

"Fine, then I'll just take all your money!" He shouted. He grabbed his large hammer and stepped in front of his desk. The hammer cut through air, and swung downwards at Wario. Surprisingly it was long enough to reach Wario from a couple feet away. Wario reached his hand out and stopped the tip of the hammer with his hand.

"You might have a huge hammer, but I have huge muscles." Wario laughed and took the tip of the hammer with his other hand, and started to swing it around. Captain Hammer fang hung onto his hammer like his life depended on it. Wario let go and sent Hammerfang through the wooden barriers of the airship. Unwanted pressure sucked everything out of the captain's quarters: including the loot. All the money landed into the ocean below. Hammerfang plunged into the sea. Wario, on the other hand, was hanging onto a loose floorboard. His body was thrashing about, trying to fight the pressure. Wario's fingers slipped off the floorboard, and the presure took its next victim. Wario fell, and fell. The air sliced his back and it pounded him with all its might. "This is it, the end..." Wario kept his eyes shut. He didn't want to know what would happen next. Wario should have hit the water by now, but instead felt a hard substance hit his back. Much harder than water. Wario rubbed the back of his head, "Am I dead? Is this Heaven?" Wario asked. The white interior of the object felt very threatening to Wario. He didn't recognize at all, until he saw who was steering the object. "Waluigi!" Wario jumped with joy. Waluigi turned his yellow and purple drivers seat around and saw on his knees thanking him.

"No problem, crime buddy." Waluigi said, and turned around to focus on driving.

Wario looked around at his surroundings, "Is this...my yacht?" He asked.

"Waluigi didn't turn around this time, "Yeah, you weren't back from your treasure hunting mission on time, so I only figure the worst had happened." He replied with a worried expression on his taught, frail face.

"I don't know how I can repay you..." Wario began.

"Well... what about the loot you scored? That should settle the costs." Waluigi grinned and thought all the wonderful things he could do with the money.

"Uhhhh, yeah, about the loot. The loot walked the plank. It's now lost at sea..." Wario said, rubbing the back of his neck.

"The loot what?!" Waluigi shouted in disbelief. He stopped the engine to the yacht. "So, now you're telling me, that this whole hunt was a waste?!" Waluigi shouted at Wario, who could barely hold any anger in at the moment.

Wario stood there with his face fixated on the yellow carpet beneath their feet. "I'll pay you, I have extra cash reserves..." Wario replied unhappily.

"You'd better have cash reserves!" Waluigi yelled, and turned the engine on. He headed straight back home to Wario's castle. Now back in the castle, Waluigi parked the yacht in Wario's underwater garage beneath his castle, while Wario went to go get his cash reserves. Waluigi came back in the castle, and waited for Wario to come out with a gold bar or something of that value. Wario opened his basement door and came out empty handed.

Waluigi stood there tapping his foot, "Well?! Where's my share?" Waluigi shouted impatiently.

Wario's face looked distraught and fear was in his eyes, "It's all gone. Gone! Waluigi, somebody stole all my treasure!" Wario exclaimed and paced around. Panic was obviously settling in.

Waluigi took both of his hand and rested them on Wario's shoulders, "Try not to panic." Waluigi's soothing voice reached Wario's ears, but it wasn't helping.

"I'm already panicking!" Wario shouted, his eyes ablazed with fear.

"Ok, ok, calm down. Who is the only person who could have pulled this off." Waluigi asked, he tryed to stay calm, but the thought of not getting his share only enraged him more.

"There's only one person who is capable of such devious theivery." Wario mumbled, with his hand under his chin.

Waluigi couldn't take the suspense any longer, "Who?!" He asked, and shook Wario back and forth.

"It's..."

"Captain...Syrup..." Wario mumbled. "I'll get you for this!" Wario raised his fists in the air and fell on his knees. The viewpoint changed and Wario's face looked up to the ceiling. His face grew smaller and smaller.

"Ow!" Lakitu said, and rubbed his yellow head.

"Lakitu? What are you doing with that camera?" Wario asked.

"I'm filming a short film about you screaming about Captain Syrup stealing your treasure." He replied and held his camera to the side of his floating cloud.

"Go do that somewhere else! Wait...how'd you know she stole my treasure?" Wario asked the floating Lakitu.

"I was making a movie about you, so I was around your castle and saw Captain Syrup go in and out with your treasure. She then sailed off." Lakitu replied glumly.

"Where did she go?! Tell me!" Wario demanded.

"I think her ship was headed towards the frigid sea. I doubt she got through it though, no one has been able to get through the ice caps in it." Lakitu said.

"Well, sure enough she got stuck somewhere. Hopefully near the shore so I can get my treasure back. To the Wario Mobile!" Wario shouted as he headed toward his garage.

Waluigi slid his palm down his face," Oh brother." He mused. Waluigi quickly walked over to the garage. Now at Wario's garage, Wario was already in his car ready to go.

"Are you ready Waluigi?" He asked and tapped his foot several times.

"I'm not going with you Wario." Waluigi looked down at the floor, "It's all up to you, I'm staying here and watching over your castle."

"Alright, keep all intruders out of my castle while I'm gone ok?" Wario said, his eyes full of trust for the tall, skinny, man in purple.

Waluigi hid a grin, "Oh, I will...hehehe" He tried to hold in a small chuckle, but couldn't. Wario opened his garage door and headed out to the shore of the frigid sea. Wario's car hugged the shore line of the land, he watched as the temperature dropped and the water began to freeze. Snow began to cover the once lush green grass of Wario Land. Each snowflake floated through the air gracefully, until they hit Wario's windshield wipers. "Gah! Get away from me! Stupid mini snowballs!" Wario yelled, turning up the windshield wipers to maximum power. Through his blurry windshield, Wario could barely see Captain Syrup's ship, stuck in between large sheets of ice near the shore. "There it is!" He cooed and parked right next to the trapped vessel. Wario got out of his car and trudged through the deep snow. Snow pelted him, but he kept going until he reached the ship. He climbed the anchor, it was conveniently placed right next to the shore so he could climb it. Once aboard the ship, Wario saw tons of Syrup's pirates helping her with different tasks. Captain Syrup looked in Wario's direction, her face dazed and confused.

"Why are **you** here, Wario?" She asked.

"I'm getting my treasure back, one way or another." Wario retorted.

"Did I steal your treasure? I don't remember stealing your treasure..." She said, sarcastically.

Wario walked up to Syrup, and then his white gloves gripped her neck. "Listen...I want my treasure, I don't care if I have to snap your neck, I'm going to get it." Wario threatened, his grip tightened on her neck.

Syrup kept a blank expression on her face, and tried to hold back any fear, "Why don't we make a deal? You get rid of the ice sheets, you get your treasure. How about it? Deal?"

Wario pondered the consequences in his mind, "Alright, you got yourself a deal. Gimme a torch." He spat, his face serious.

"We already tried melting it, it'll take to long." Syrup retorted, she thought the idea of trying the torch again was ridiculous.

"Give...me...the torch." He slowly put emphasis on each word to show he meant business. Syrup handed him a torch, which Wario snagged out of her hand. Wario jumped off the side of the ship and landed on the thick ice sheet. The torch that he held lowered to his bottom. His overalls caught on fire in a matter of seconds, Wario ran around for another few seconds. He then slid on his bottom on top of the ice sheet. This melted nearly all of it. Wario finally stopped yelling and running around and jumped into the icey cold water to cool off. After meer milliseconds, he jumped really high and shrieked. He fell back on the ship. Syrup stood there, dumbfounded that Wario actually did it.

"Go get his treasure..." She told one pirate, who nodded slightly. "My pirate will bring your treasure out and will help pack it into your car. I can't believe you actually did it." She said, impressed by the fact that Wario, out of his stupidity, actually pulled it off. Several of her pirates came out with loads of treasure. Syrup's eyes grew a thousand times bigger, "How much treasure did I steal?!" She asked herself.

"Oh you know, just my whole life's savings...no biggie..." Wario replied, his sarcasm was almost as bad as his garlic breath. The pirates finally finished getting all his treasure into his car, but it all piled up really high. Wario drove away and went back to his castle, he made sure not a single gold coin fell out of the back of his car. Once home, Wario kicked off his shoes and fell onto his yellow couch; exhausted. It sure was late and Wario still had an episode of Temple Runners to watch. Waluigi came into his room with his pajamas on. The were purple with white horizontal stripes going down them. Waluigi even had the nightcap to go with it.

"Wario, I'm going to bed, good night." He said, almost half asleep. Waluigi walked over to his room and closed the dresser with the secret entrance behind him. Waluigi crashed onto his bed and pulled himself under the covers. "_I wonder how Wario's trip to get his treasure went? Wait a minute...he still owes me money!"_ Waluigi thought to himself_._

**AN: I made up Captain Hanmerfang. Do you think he is a good addition to the series? Well, PM if you think he is, or put it in the reviews section. Anyway, see ya guys next time. This has been Stuffwell359, and...I'm getting a call from Professor to report to the lab. Darn, I was going to do a cool outro... awwww. Well, I gotta go guys, duty calls! Bye! :)**


	5. Boogie Mansion

**AN: Alright, this is based off of the level Boogie Mansion on Wario Land Shake it. Oh, and just one thing before I start: feel free to send in an idea if you wish. I'll give you full credit for the idea. Anyway, here we go!**

Boogie Mansion

"So this is that mansion Luigi was talking about," Wario said, glaring at the mansion's front gate.

Waluigi stood right next to him. "Yeah, I wonder why he sent us to check it out instead of himself?" he said, "I mean, it's not like he's armed with the Poltergust 3000 or anything." Waluigi said sarcastically as he opened the gate to the mansion. "And here we are, without a single ghost trapping device, checking out a haunted mansion for him."

Wario sighed. "Don't be such a whiner, Waluigi. Look, there might be some treasure here too. So it won't be that bad." Wario began to walk along the stone pathway leading to the large double door entrance.

Waluigi quickly followed behind Wario. "Just because there might be treasure, doesn't mean that it'll be a safe trip."

Wario stopped walking and turned around, facing Waluigi. "Don't worry so much, Waluigi, we'll be fine." Wario turned around and saw a weird figure covered in green goop slowly trudging towards them.

"What is that?!" Waluigi shouted, pointing at the creature with a bony index finger.

"Lemme go check it out," Wario said as he advanced towards the strange, ooze covered thing.

"W-wait! Wario!" Waluigi called after him, but Wario ignored his plea and pressed forward.

Now eye to eye with the creature, Wario gave it a quick inspection. He crouched over, looking at it extremely close, watching the green ooze slowly drip downwards and fall to the ground.

"Ugggghhh," the creature moaned, failing to alarm the yellow plumber.

After giving it a few more looks, Wario said, "Looks fine to me. No danger here." Wario smiled and turned around. The creature tried to grab him, but Wario walked forward just in time.

"Wario...uhhh," Waluigi tried to say something, but was too paralyzed with fear.

The creature creeped forward, following Wario with its arms stretched in front.

"Alright, let's head inside. I can just hear the treasure calling my name." Wario whispered his name a few times in a ghastly tone. Wahahaha! See? They're calling me!" Wario dashed off to the front entrance, completely ignoring the creature trying to grab him again. Waluigi could barely hear him say in the distance, "Wait for me darlings! Daddys coming~" Wario sang.

"Wario! Wait for me!" Waluigi sighed and scurried past the creature over to the front entrance behind Wario. They entered inside the mansion; the door creaked open as they slid inside. Cobwebs were crowded in every corner, and several intricate designs were displayed on the walls. Statues of gargoyles and skeletons were closely positioned near the walls. Wario quickly realized that these creatures were everywhere. They flooded the foyer, walking about in random directions.

"Okay, let's go home," Waluigi said, turning around.

"Not so fast." Wario grabbed Waluigi by the back of his overalls and pulled him back next to him. "What is with you? You're acting like a conplete scaredy cat."

"Wario! Don't you get it!" Waluigi screamed. "These creatures are zombies that'll eat our brains for breakfast!"

"Bwahaha! So? A few zombies can't stop the great Wario!"

"Yes they can, and they will if we don't get out of here!"

Wario sighed. "You're a pain...okay, listen," he said, "whatever amount of treasure we collect, you'll get," he gulped, "1 percent."

Waluigi's head exploded. "1 percent?! Are you kidding me?!" he shouted. "That's nothing!"

"Okay, fine," Wario replied, "2 percent."

"That sounds fair to me."

"Alright! Let's kick some zombie butt! Wario style!" he yelled. "Here, pull my finger."

"No! I know that trick!"

"Come on! It might work!" Wario held out his index finger.

"Fine..." Waluigi reached out and pulled his finger. A loud fart noise blasted through the air, along with a billow of green smoke. The two plumbers watched the zombies reactions, but they were disappointed when absolutely nothing happened.

"Awww," Wario whined.

"Don't be sad, Wario," Waluigi said, putting an arm on Wario's shoulder, "there are plenty more zombies up ahead for us to smash."

"Waha! The great Wario has another chance!" he said, jumping into the air and spreading his arms and legs out.

Once Wario landed back onto the floor, Waluigi said, "Yay, more zombies..." he groaned, not enjoying this haunted mansion adventure one bit.

Wario charged into the fray, punching, grabbing, throwing, and not to mention farting on every zombie he could find. Waluigi just stood at the entrance, patiently waiting for Wario to finish. One zombie was extremely unlucky; he had to smell Wario's fart head on, meaning Wario literally sat on the creature's face and blew a big one.

"The poor thing..." Waluigi muttered as Wario farted on the zombie.

With all the zombies cleared out, Waluigi ran over to Wario. "Nice going, now let's keep going so I can go home faster."

"Alright, alright," Wario said, "keep your two gold coins in check for a second, okay?"

Waluigi grumbled. "Fine," he replied.

"Okay, now we can go." Wario entered through a door at the end of the foyer, it appeared to be a rather large room with more zombies roaming about. There was one thing that looked out of place though.

"A giant...nose?" Waluigi couldn't comprehend the giant object in front of him. A giant nose with a booger dripping out of one of the nostrils. It floated in the room, bobbing up and down. As the booger drooped lower to the ground, they watched as it transformed into a zombie.

"Ugh, hang on a minute," Waluigi said. "You mean that these zombies are-"

"Boogie zombies!" Wario shouted outloud.

"Yeah, those..."

"And you mean I touched-"

"Yes, Wario," Waluigi replied, "you touched boogers."

"Yuck! Are you serious? That's it! That giant nose is gonna pay!" Wario raised his fists, ready to fight.

"Have fun," Waluigi said.

"Wait, you're not fighting with me?" Wario asked.

"Nope. Now, like I said, have fun~" Waluigi waved to Wario, gesturing for him to fight the giant freak of nature before them.

"Alright, this nose doesn't stand a chance against me!" Wario charged at the nose. It hovered in the air, bobbing up and down, doing absolutely nothing else. Wario jumped and dashed into the giant nose, causing boogie zombies to fly out of it's nostrils like crazy.

"Ahhh! Waluigi! Help me!" Wario immediately ran away; hundreds of boogie zombies chased after him, slowly, but the numbers at which they were following him with were still intimidating.

Waluigi examined his fingers and ignored Wario entirely.

"Waluigi! Come on!"

Waluigi didn't move a muscle.

Boogie zombies chased Wario from left to right around the room, Wario's cries echoed off the walls and hopefully into Waluigi's ears.

Hang on, let's check if Waluigi heard Wario. Hmmm, let's see, we got ear wax. Oh, look, here's some more ear wax. Hang on, I'm digging a little deeper. Hey! I found something! Oh wait, that's just more ear wax...anyway, it's safe to assume Waluigi can't hear Wario at all. Or, he at least is choosing not too while Wario is running around like a maniac.

"Waluigi! Help me~" Wario cried, still running away from the horde.

"Ugh! Fine!" Waluigi walked in front of the horde. "Stop! I command you!"

The horde screeched to a halt.

"Okay, now...destroy the giant nose!"

The boogie zombies jumped into the air, latching onto the nose and slowly bringing it down to the ground. They gradually whacked the nose until it exploded into hundreds of coins.

"Good job!" Waluigi said. He began to pick up all the coins and soon had them all deep into his pockets. Wario was able to collect some as well, but not as much.

"Hey! You got more than me! Fork some coins over now!" Wario yelled, holding his hand out.

"Nope, think of this as payment for me saving your butt on that last adventure with Captain Hammerfang."

"Oh yeah...I forgot about that," Wario said. "Still, give me my money!"

"Nope."

"Oh come on!"

"Actually, I have a better idea," Waluigi said as a light bulb magically appeared over his head.

"Oh, boogie zombies!~ I have a job for you~" he sang. The horde lined up in front of him, ready to be used at his disposal.

"Get Wario, and bring me all of his treasure."

"Wha-? Wait a minute, Waluigi!" Wario began to back away. The horde stared at him with evil eyes. "You have your money! Is that not enough?"

"Nope." Waluigi said as the horde chased Wario down again.

**AN: The end! XD Okay, to be honest, it was difficult thinking of the cheesiest humor I could think of. When I wrote those last ones, I was so childish, so thinking of that humor was easy. Now that I'm older, the humor sounds pathetic, but it didn't sound pathetic when I was younger, you know? Anyway, I'll try to replicate their personalities as best as I can, but no guarantees. Like I said, my writing style changed to more of a professional look. Hopefully, some of you found this amusing, actually, I'm PRAYING that any of you found this to be funny at all XD. I felt like I tried too hard. Oh well, tell me if it looks like I tried too hard in the review section, or just shoot me a PM. Ok bye :)**


	6. Car Troubles

Car Troubles

Wario sat in his garage underneath his purple 1954 Cadillac Eldorado. Apparently, after crashing through his garage door - he still has to fix that too - his car got beat up pretty badly. Since he's too cheap to call a mechanic, Wario decided that he would fix it himself. With a wrench in his hand and a blowtorch in the other, Wario got to work. He had one of those flat platforms that rolled underneath a car and used one to slide underneath his pride and joy. (Also known as his car, just in case you didn't get the reference. XD) Wario twisted the wrench around, trying to find something - no, anything that actually fitted the circumference of the size. After failing several times, Wario gave up and just dropped the wrench entirely. He put the face shield on and turned on the blowtorch. "Wahaha! Burn baby burn!" he yelled. Wario maneuvered the blowtorch everywhere, not even caring what it did or where it burned. Once he was finished, the whole underside of the car felt hotter than a sauna, and Wario felt stinging hot pieces of metal melt off of his car and drip on his usual attire. He slid out from underneath his car with haste.

Taking off his face shield, Wario wiped some sweat from his forehead and said, "Phew, I think I fixed it." Wario stepped into his car and grabbed his keys. Inserting the keys into the slot, he turned the car on, hearing the beautiful engine purr once again. Except this time, the purr didn't last too long. After a mere five seconds or so, Wario felt the car shake and at the same time, he felt himself fall through the car. Now sitting on the concrete floor surrounded by melted car parts, Wario still held the steering wheel in his hands; his eyes were enlarged and full of bewilderment. "Nothing like a little bit of duct tape and glue can't fix…right?" he chuckled to himself as he stepped out of the gaping hole that used to be the insides of his car. Taking a better look at his car, Wario said, "Okay, maybe that's a little worse than I thought." He sighed and took a seat on a nearby workbench. "To think I have the garage door to fix too," he said, glancing at the large hole ripped through his garage door. He looked back at his car, then back at the garage door again. Waluigi stood there, his mouth wide open and speechless.

"'Wha-? Waluigi? What are _you _doing here?"

He closed his mouth and walked through the hole in the garage. "Well, seeing that you have a few car problems. I decided that I should help you out, for a reasonable price of course." A smirk slowly formed on his face.

"You? Help me? Not a chance. Go steal someone else's money, loser." Wario crossed his arms and turned away from the thin man before him.

Waluigi frowned. "Come on, Wario, you know you're too cheap to hire a professional."

Wario pondered it for a moment. "How much?"

"10 gold coins every 10 minutes," Waluigi replied.

Wario's eyes bulged bigger than two grapefruits. "What?! That's more than a professional costs!"

He snickered. "I know," he said, "now, take it or leave it."

Wario pouted, forcing a frown and angling his brows downward. "Fine..." he reluctantly agreed.

Waluigi grabbed a small red toolbox in the corner of Wario's garage. He lifted it up, examined it, then blew some dust off that smothered it as if it were frosting on a cake.

Waluigi went into a coughing fit. "Ugh, do you ever use these things?" he said, face full of horror and disgust.

"Too lazy," Wario replied, digging for gold with his pinkie while resting his elbow on the chair he sat in.

"Figures," he muttered as he walked over to the melted mess that used to be Wario's car. "This'll take awhile, you might want to take a nap, or continue looking for gold up in that huge nose of yours." Waluigi picked up several parts and began to organize them into sections. He sighed and mumbled, "I should've asked for more..."

Wario stood up from his chair. "I'm heading inside, have fun," he said, walking back inside his house. (Wario owns a house too, people. Remember Wario Ware and Wario:Master of Disguise?)

Waluigi was left with the task of fixing Wario's car, well, what was left of it anyway. Hours passed while Wario sat in his house watching television. Waluigi came inside and told him that he was finished with Wario's car and made some 'improvements'. Wario thought nothing of it and walked out to his garage again to see his repaired vehicle. His car looked brand new; the gleaming shine on the rims and bumper returned once again, and the bright purple hue glistened in the light that beamed from the hole in the garage. The white, cushioned interior look as if somebody could sleep in it for days. Everything looked brand-new.

"Wow, it looks... _great,_" Wario said, surprised at how Waluigi actually did an amazing job.

Waluigi smirked. "Go on, give it a test run."

Wario stepped in the car. "Alright, but you better not have played any tricks!" he warned, pointing at Waluigi with a scornful disgust in his eyes.

Wario's hand moved on its own; it twisted the keys, igniting the engine. "Its Wario time!" he yelled, pressing his foot down on the gas and speeding through the hole in the garage.

"Hehehe..."

Wario sped through the streets of Diamond City, going as fast as he could. The wind blew his hat up slightly; the breeze flowed through his brown hair. The engine revved when he slammed on the gas, and made a clicking sound and almost coughed when he slowed down. Wait what? The engine clicks and coughs? That's not good...

Wario realized the problem at hand, but it was too late. The clicking noise pursued even when he wasn't accelerating or slowing down. It pierced his ears - _tick - tick - tick. _As Wario neared his favorite place in the world - not the dentist of course - club sugar, he parked his car in the parking lot and walked inside. Except, once he opened the door to the club, a loud explosion bursted his eardrum. Ducking for cover and holding his hands of his head, Wario dared to even look at the loud blast of fire behind him.

He looked and _knew._

He looked and he _saw._

His car blew into smithereens.

"Damnit Waluigi..." Wario muttered, walking into Club Sugar.

**AN: A little less cheesy humor in this one :) you're welcome.**


End file.
